You might be a beer douche if… (Volume 1)

Last week I posted a question to my readers: What are the traits of a beer-douche? The responses were overwhelming, so I have decided to present the results as a mini-series. Many thanks to all the contributors listed below!!!

Contributors to the series:
Stephen Johnson
Velky Al

And now I present: “You might be a beer douche if…” (Volume 1)

What do we mean by beer-douche? The “BD” is any person (male or female) who turn-off would-be craft beer fans with their attitude and actions. By studying this creature in his/her habitat we hope to learn how to avoid becoming the beer-douche, which will only help in opening up the craft brew world to the masses. Many of us, myself included, carry douchey traits; please do not be offended if one or two of the comments in this series ring true for you. Please do feel offended (and ashamed) if these posts completely describe you.

Trait: Desire for Exclusivity
The desire for exclusivity is a key douche-identifier. The beer-douche believes that he is in special class of drinker. This class has limited membership, and it should stay that way. Craft beer is not for the masses. In fact, women shouldn’t even drink beer.

You can usually find beer-douches traveling in tight-knit cliques. These groups may appear online in the form of exclusive websites. Offline you can find BDs at beer tastings. You’ll know you’ve encountered a pack when everyone at the tasting is on a first name basis except you (a-w-k-w-a-r-d).

When these creatures interact online various behaviors can be observed. First, the beer-douche’s Twitter follow/followed ratio is 1:2 (and often worse). After all, why would they want to follow YOU back? Secondly, the beer douche won’t be likely to participate in reciprocal linking, and if she does, your blog link is buried on her site. Regardless of this fact, the beer-douche will still complain if her link is not prominently displayed on your site.

There is no known cure for beer-douchism. The best form of protection is prevention. Please try to avoid being the beer-douche. Until next time

Author: Joshua Dion

I write about beer in an un-intimidating way, welcoming beer lovers of all experience levels.