You might be a beer douche if… (Volume 1)

Last week I posted a question to my readers: What are the traits of a beer-douche? The responses were overwhelming, so I have decided to present the results as a mini-series. Many thanks to all the contributors listed below!!!

Contributors to the series:
Stephen Johnson
Velky Al

And now I present: “You might be a beer douche if…” (Volume 1)

What do we mean by beer-douche? The “BD” is any person (male or female) who turn-off would-be craft beer fans with their attitude and actions. By studying this creature in his/her habitat we hope to learn how to avoid becoming the beer-douche, which will only help in opening up the craft brew world to the masses. Many of us, myself included, carry douchey traits; please do not be offended if one or two of the comments in this series ring true for you. Please do feel offended (and ashamed) if these posts completely describe you.

Trait: Desire for Exclusivity
The desire for exclusivity is a key douche-identifier. The beer-douche believes that he is in special class of drinker. This class has limited membership, and it should stay that way. Craft beer is not for the masses. In fact, women shouldn’t even drink beer.

You can usually find beer-douches traveling in tight-knit cliques. These groups may appear online in the form of exclusive websites. Offline you can find BDs at beer tastings. You’ll know you’ve encountered a pack when everyone at the tasting is on a first name basis except you (a-w-k-w-a-r-d).

When these creatures interact online various behaviors can be observed. First, the beer-douche’s Twitter follow/followed ratio is 1:2 (and often worse). After all, why would they want to follow YOU back? Secondly, the beer douche won’t be likely to participate in reciprocal linking, and if she does, your blog link is buried on her site. Regardless of this fact, the beer-douche will still complain if her link is not prominently displayed on your site.

There is no known cure for beer-douchism. The best form of protection is prevention. Please try to avoid being the beer-douche. Until next time

Author: Joshua Dion

I write about beer in an un-intimidating way, welcoming beer lovers of all experience levels.

3 thoughts on “You might be a beer douche if… (Volume 1)”

  1. Hmmmm… I gotta take offense with this already. I go to beer tastings. My local liquor store does a beer tasting just about every week and those of us who go pretty regularly have gotten to become pretty good friends (yes, I am even friends with the owner). While we are on a first name basis with everyone there, we do not shun newcomers, though we do crack jokes at people who are only there to get wasted and drink free beer (he does it to turn people on to craft beer and get people to buy stuff). Point is, a beer tasting is not a good way of judging.

    Also, the Twitter ratio is a tough one as well. I don't believe in the whole "follow back" crap. I don't follow everyone back. If I don't ever converse with someone on Twitter, I likely unfollow them.

    Your general thought is right on though.

  2. "The "BD" is any person (male or female) who turn-off would-be craft beer fans with their attitude and actions." —AND— "The beer-douche believes that he is in special class of drinker. This class that has limited membership, and it should stay that way."

    I would say that sums up beer douchebaggery quite well.

    Sure, we may tease people for drinking crappy beer, but we rarely cross into the territory described above, and on those rare occasions it's clearly tongue-in-cheek.

    We always encourage others to broaden their horizons regarding new beers and beer styles, and we like to think we do it in a humorous manner.

  3. The Beer Douche is anybody that won't share their wife or signs their post "-Wörtwurst" even though their name is really Bob.


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