Prior Volumes:
* Volume 1
* Volume 2
Introduction
What do we mean by beer-douche? The “BD” is any person (male or female) who turn-off would-be craft beer fans with their attitude and actions. By studying this creature in his/her habitat we hope to learn how to avoid becoming the beer-douche, which will only help in opening up the craft brew world to the masses. Many of us, myself included, carry douchey traits; please do not be offended if one or two of the comments in this series ring true for you. Please do feel offended (and ashamed) if these posts completely describe you.
Trait: Requesting Special Privileges
The natural habitat of a beer douche includes bars and restaurants. We traveled to some establishments to observe the BD in this environment. We also wanted to talk to the staff to get their impressions of the beer-douche. Below are three of our major findings. Note that each behavior suggests that the BD in question presumes that he has special privileges for no apparent reason other than being a beer expert.
1. The BD may approach the wait staff and request a taste of beer simply to see if the tap is fresh. The BD will make it known if said tap is not fresh. Worse than asking for a taste, the BD may plainly request free beer!
2. Should the “proper” glassware not be available, the BD will make a stink. Afterall, to drink a stout out of a pint glass…how rudimentary! Waitstaff are liable to be blamed for uncivilized nature of the glassware.
3. While at one brewpub we observed a BD requesting access to a special casked brew. When awarded a glass, the individual scoffed and asked when the next special brew would be available to try.
Clearly, the beer-douche believes he deserves better service and a better drinking experience than your average bar-goer. On a final note, we should mention that upon being awarded some special privilege, you should not expect the BD to be appreciative. More likely he will continue to discredit the drinking establishment.
There is no known cure for beer-douchism. The best form of protection is prevention. Please try to avoid being the beer-douche. Please tune in next week for Volume 4 of “You might be a beer douche if…”.
There should never be a need to ask for a sample to see if the taps are fresh/clean. Order the beer and return it if something is off, and by "off" I mean that it doesn't taste like the same beer at all. I've done this many times because either the wrong beer was poured or the keg was actually bad.
But by no means should anyone be forced to pay for and drink a beer that has gone bad or suffered from dirty tap lines.
If the bar doesn't have proper glassware, order a beer that works in a pint glass. It's plain and simple. Don't make a stink about it.
Honestly, there are very few beers that wouldn't work in any glassware that a halfway decent bar has. If a bar has a beer that requires a special drinking vessel (like Kwak), then the bar probably knows it. It's not like beers like that just show up at the door of every regular Joe bar. If they request it, they probably know how to serve it. But really, all you pretty much need is a pint glass and a brandy snifter.
Also, a solid cure for beer-douchedom is a swift kick to the head. It's like the restart button on a computer.
This is great. Kudos for the post.
I think it is a fine line that everyone who enjoys a beer beyond just the taste can encounter. Recently I picked up homebrewing and I've gotten hooked on everything beer. So sometimes when I'm in a conversation with people they will ask me about beer and I'll start with some over the top knowledge about the subject. Its hard to not be passionate and not end up coming off BDing.
I'm really all about getting people into homebrewing and into exploring more beer besides Coors Light, because there is sooo much more to drink out there.
Mike
Mike's Brew Review